I love to nit-pick movies, especially the Star Wars movies, as much as the next guy if not a great deal more. As the owner of thousands of Star Wars: The Collectible Card Game cards, and more SW extended-universe arcana than you can shake a stick at, I do share faith with those who complain about continuity and logic in the movies. (If Boba Fett is the Jedi-hating clone of some clown named Jango, how can he be the new persona of a man named Jaster Merleel on Concord Dawn? Continuity, where are you?)

That said, Anthony Lane's New Yorker review tries its hand at the sport and falls totally flat. To people who don't obsess about the SW extended universe or aren't willing to think through some of the dilemmas without a bit of imagination, I suppose his review will seem compelling, biting, decisive. Alas for ignorance. Spoilers ensue.

For example, Lane complains, "What can you say about a civilization where people zip from one solar system to the next as if they were changing their socks but where a woman fails to register for an ultrasound, and thus to realize that she is carrying twins until she is about to give birth?" Well, one can say two things. First, that this is a non-sequitur. It is beyond doubt that there exist ultrasounds in the SW universe, so Lane's comment about high-tech space travel doesn't follow. There is nothing inconsistent with a world of high-tech medical care that people nonetheless fail to take advantage of, through sloth or whatever else. Consider, for example, the wide availability of toothpaste, but the large number of people who nonetheless neglect to brush their teeth regularly. And second, one ccan point out that Portman has extra reasons for wanting to avoid an ultrasound. She's pregnant by a famous jedi who is mistrusted by many people in power in Coruscant. This fact is not popular knowledge, and Obi-Wan's reaction when he finds out gives us the distinct impression that people would not approve if they knew. Will she trust whatever medic or 21-B droid looks over her not to spill any interesting data he gets? No.

Lane also complains, "The Lucasian universe is drained of all reference to bodily functions. Nobody ingests or excretes." This is just strange. To be sure, there is not a lot of on-screen excretion in the Star Wars movies (although in SW IV: A New Hope the heroes do spend quite a bit of time in a trash compactor), but there is ingestion galore throughout the movies-- think not only of the ravenous Sarlacc, Wampa, and other nasty creatures, but of the long and colorful time in Mos Eisley's Cantina, Luke's eating his Aunt Beru's Stew at the moisture farm, and so on. There may not be much on-screen ingestion in Sith (I wasn't paying much attention) but the Lucasian universe is no more devoid of food than most movie worlds.

Lane adds, "Smoking and cursing are out of bounds . . . " once again, Lane appears to be supposing that if it doesn't happen in Sith it doesn't happen in the galaxy. Dannik Jerriko can be seen smoking in the Mos Eisley cantina. And so on.

Lane goes on to complain about the dramatic special effects in the movie, which he thinks are overdone. This is just uncharitable-- like complaining that an old noir movie is too talky. He also takes on Yoda, whose Jedi wisdom he doubts. It is unclear what Lane's complaint is, though-- Lane points out that he (Lane) wouldn't be willing to abandon his loved ones if they were in danger, but Lane isn't a Jedi Knight is he? (And, I submit, he's highly unlikely to become one).

Whatever Lane's opinion of the Jedi Code, it is pretty consistent with what Yoda tells Luke in Episode V, when Luke decides to abandon his jedi training early in order to fall into Darth Vader's trap on Cloud City. Luke will later bring back the Jedi academy and make history by constantly flirting with the dark side but almost never really falling to it, but in hindsight Yoda's advice was pretty dead-on. He never made it back to Dagobah in time to finish up his training, nearly got corrupted to the dark side when Vader revealed himself to be his father, lost a hand, and didn't even manage to get Han out of the carbonite. Anthony Lane may be made of weaker stuff, but expect more out of a Jedi knight, we do.

I don't mean to suggest that the Star Wars movies can only be attacked or criticized by members of the insider's club, those of us who not only know about Admiral Thrawn and Prince Xizor and Mara Jade but also TK-4211, Rokur Gepta, and Zardra. But if one's going to start criticizing the universe of the movies, it would behoove one to watch and think about the movies, and maybe a little more carefully.

I am now safe and sound in D.C., with blogger Will Wilkinson, and several other exciting personages. My wireless card was destroyed in my exuberance to get my suitcase shut (contra my doubting friends) so I will have to replace it-- until then I am making use of borrowed hardware.

I saw Revenge of the Sith on Friday night, and might muster up the time and energy to write out a fuller review. I liked it a lot, although the love dialogue (hold me like you did by Lake Naboo!) is to laughable to even be camp. I would have liked it even more if I hadn't blockheadedly left the headlights on my friend's car and drained the battery in the movie parking lot (one thinks, perhaps, of Kyp Durran and his seemingly unique ability to drain energy cells via the dark side). Thank God for AAA.

I am on the road (i.e. the train track) to Washington D.C. today. You'll hear more later.

I'll soon write up the other two restaurants from my Wilmington trip (as provided by readers), but I just have a question first.

Let's say you go to a small cafe/bakery, and order a pie. You pay $20, and get a large, impressive looking product in return, in a white box. Unknown to you, however, the pie is from the Price Club, or some other big box retailer, and was purchased by the merchant that morning for $5 and put in a new package.

Would you feel cheated if you knew the truth? Or is that something you expect that kind of place to do? Send me an email.