O ME! O life!... of the questions of these recurring;
Of the endless trains of the faithless—of cities fill’d with the foolish;
Of myself forever reproaching myself, (for who more foolish than I, and who more faithless?)
Of eyes that vainly crave the light—of the objects mean—of the struggle ever renew’d;
Of the poor results of all—of the plodding and sordid crowds I see around me;
Of the empty and useless years of the rest—with the rest me intertwined;
The question, O me! so sad, recurring—What good amid these, O me, O life?

Answer.

That you are here—that life exists, and identity;
That the powerful play goes on, and you will contribute a verse.

Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass

All of this talk of college essays made me realize that I hadn't yet looked this year at the famously bizarre University of Chicago college essay questions (no small part of the reason I applied to and attended Chicago). In case you haven't either, here they are:

Essay Option 1

“One of the very nicest things about life,” as Luciano Pavarotti once said, “is the way we must regularly stop whatever it is we are doing and devote our attention to eating.” Pavarotti, in all of his well-fed wisdom, suggests that eating and meals are a separate kind of activity—often a break from the work and play of life. Yet food and meals sustain our lives in many ways every day. Tell us about an ordinary food or meal that may seem mundane to the rest of the world but holds special meaning for you. Think about how the food is prepared, packaged, or served and by whom. Do you eat it in a distinctive manner? At a special time? In a certain place or with select company? Most importantly, explain how this everyday food sustains or satisfies you in a way that another food or meal could not.

Inspired by Sameera Kumar, a graduate of Huntington High School, Huntington, WV

Essay Option 2

If you could balance on a tightrope, over what landscape would you walk? (No net.)

Inspired by Emma Ross, a graduate of West Windsor–Plainsboro High School North, Plainsboro, NJ

Essay Option 3

In his autobiography A Long Walk to Freedom, Nelson Mandela writes, “There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered.” Tell us about an unchanging place to which you have returned. In what way has the place never changed? How does its constancy reveal changes in you?

Inspired by Anna Zawadzka, a graduate of Curie Metropolitan High School, Chicago, IL

Essay Option 4

Albert Einstein once said, “The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and science.” Propose your own original theory to explain one of the sixteen mysteries below. Your theory does not need to be testable or even probable; however, it should provide some laws, principles, and/or causes to explain the facts, phenomena, or existence of one of these mysteries. You can make your theory artistic, scientific, conspiracy-driven, quantum, fanciful, or otherwise ingenious—but be sure it is your own and gives us an impression of how you think about the world.

Love; Crop Circles; Time Travel; Numbers; Non-Dairy Creamer; The Platypus; Language; Mona Lisa’s Smile; Sleep and Dreams; The Beginning of Everything; The End of Everything; The College Rankings in U.S. News & World Report; Gray; Art; The Roanoke Colony; Consciousness

Inspired by Akash Goel, a graduate of Saint Bede Academy, Peru, IL

Essay Option 5

Take as a model the students who inspired Options 1-4 as you pose and respond to an uncommon prompt of your own. If your prompt is original and thoughtful, then you should have little trouble writing a great essay. Draw on your best qualities as a writer, thinker, visionary, social critic, sage, sensible woman or man, citizen of the world, or future citizen of the University of Chicago; take a little risk and have fun.

I think I'm in love with this commercial.

In 1958, Justice Tom Clark was scheduled to participate in the annual convention of the American Bar Association. Several other justices decided to attend as the association's guests. One of those was Justice Hugo Black, who frequently criticized the ABA's political leanings.

When Justice Felix Frankfurter (who wasn't a big fan of Black's, to say the least) found out about Black's plans, he wrote a note to his buddy Justice John Marshall Harlan (the then-living one; Frankfurter wasn't known to send notes to justices that were not alive):

I almost puked when I heard Hugo say that if it would be good for the Court, he'll go. Gosh! For nearly twenty years I have heard his uniform condemnation of the A.B.A. and his contempt for their views. And now, he puts on that noble act.*

*Quoted in Tinsley E. Yarbrough, John Marshall Harlan: Great Dissenter of the Warren Court 129 (OUP 1992).

PS - I can't resist quoting a classic Deep Thought (by Jack Handey): "Laurie got offended that I used the word "puke." But to me, that's what her dinner tasted like."

I often wonder what induces people to send their relationship problems to Miss Manners rather than, say, Dear Abby. Take, for example, this latest column. Here's an excerpt of Miss M's reply:

Miss Manners will not insult your intelligence by claiming that this problem is solvable. An expectant mother who violates the terms of an arrangement already open to heaven-knows-what is not going to be reformed by a quip. Nor will we argue about whether your bad feeling stems from the presumed deed or the use of subterfuge to accomplish it; fortunately, that is out of Miss Manners's purview. The etiquette question is whether you can insult the perpetrator so as to shame her but not alienate her.

Probably not. Nobody is willing to suffer being called a liar -- least of all liars. The indignation they are able to bring to such accusations is stunning.

I recently finished reading A. D. Nuttall's book Dead from the Waist Down, a fascinating book that I highly recommend to anyone who has pretentions towards being a scholar. The main body of the book is essentially a case study of three scholars and their sex lives (or such details thereof as he can reconstruct from a sketchy historical record). However the final chapter tackles the larger question of the worthwhileness of the enterprise of scholarship. I strongly suggest reading the entire argument, but a representative quotation is below.

Even if we admit that scholars do not form a completely closed society--in this differing from say philosophers, who really do spend most of their time wrestling with problems which would not have appeared but for other philosophers--grant, I say, that the effects of scholarly activity permeate the larger intellectual world, is this intellectual world so important? Grant the force of the good manners argument--is the spectacle of so many greybeards bowing and smiling to each other in the middle fo a world of pain so very admirable? Granted that the meticulous procedures of scholarship have a certain ethical status within the group, what if the group activity is itself only a kind of expensive sport, singularly lacking in spectator interest? The scholars annotate and review and meanwhile babies die and are born.

Waddling Thunder is probably one of the best food-bloggers out there, and his latest post on risotto is definitely a good read. But as a long-time lover and cook of risotto, I'm a little confused by his suggestion that you add the sauteed mushrooms and peas at the end of the rice's cooking rather than earlier on. Personally, I like to put them in before the stock, so they leak their flavor throughout the rice. But Waddling Thunder might want to put them in at the end in order to have more dishes to wash.

[Incidentally, there's no need to re-fry refrigerated risotto patties the next day. Leftover risotto is best eaten cold straight from the tupperware, and if you live alone, the fork is optional.]

UPDATE: Incidentally, today's New York Times also carries this Mark Bittman column on Jook, which he bills as "Chinese risotto, though infinitely less pretentious," and suggests as a hangover cure.

Susan B. offers the following words of wisdom to some of us unenlightened libertine souls:

Woe to those who call evil good
and good evil,
who put darkness for light
and light for darkness,
who put bitter for sweet
and sweet for bitter.